Commissioner May I? NFL Rule Suggestions

Dear Commissioner Goodell,

Doody headIt’s me again. My last letter must have been lost in the mail, as I have yet to receive a response. I forgive you. However, I would be remiss not to have an open discussion with you regarding the latest development in the NFL. I actually think I can be of some help on this one. Naturally, I’m speaking of the possibility of penalizing players 15 yards for using the offensive and despicable “n-word”. This isn’t language I would use myself, but for the argument’s sake, I’m a lady.

I have some suggestions that may help. I’m sure we can agree that the offensiveness of this word is largely based on connotation and who utters it. An African American saying it to another African American would be a lot different than a Caucasian player using the term. Where do we draw the line? You need to be able to insult people during a tough guy game like football, right? I can’t imagine getting through a week of FANTASY football without insulting someone. To be fair, I’m usually saying something awful about my opponent’s mother, but that’s neither here nor there.

Have you ever played “Mother May I”? I have the feeling you have, since the NFL’s rule structure is becoming terribly similar. Maybe you can change it to “Commissioner May I”! How awesome would that be? Every time there’s a play, they have to ask YOU for permission! “Commissioner may I advance 20 yards?” Bear with me because this is where it gets fun! “No you may not, but you can spin three times like a music box ballerina!” I have a feeling the fans would get a real kick out of it! No?

As far as the players go, I’ve come up with a few acceptable on-field insults. 1) Doody Head: That one will hurt some feelings. How can you possibly have your head in the game after that one? 2) Jerk Face: That’s pretty damn hurtful. If you want someone to fumble, that’s the way to go. 3) Snack Wafer: This one is clearly meant for Peyton Manning. I’m assuming we’re going to avoid ALL racist comments, but I’m pretty sure he knows he’s a cracker so I found a nicer way to say it. You’re welcome, NFL! Last but not least, the guys are going to need a replacement for the N-word when it’s said between two African American players in a non-racist manner. I suggest “kind sir”. Perhaps they could curtsy after saying it.

Listen, racism is reprehensible and I think most of civilized society will agree with you there. I just take exception to anyone thinking they can fix that issue by policing speech on the football field. There are a LOT of things you shouldn’t say to people. It’s not possible to regulate in this manner. Speech becomes almost automatic after a period of time. I’m sure there are black players that use it so frequently that it would be pretty difficult to chamber that reaction. Do we penalize them? The reality of it is that these are grown ass men playing a violently aggressive sport. They put their physical safety on the line every week and all of a sudden we’re concerned with hurting feelings? This isn’t a tea party, it’s football. If you insist on going this route, I have a few other ideas you may want to consider…

1- After every tackle, the players must hug for three seconds. We don’t want anyone to take said tackling personally.
2- All touchdown celebrations must now be a square dance move. Do-si-do in the endzone, my friends!
3- Half-time will now be time for everyone to talk about their feelings while in a circle holding hands. You are required to say something nice to the player on your left and pass it on until the circle of happy thoughts is complete.
4- No more beer at NFL stadiums. The fans should be made to suffer through all games, especially us Browns fans. We should be required to see every painful play of the season with a clear head.
Hopefully, I’ve been a huge help here. If you need any more assistance, I’d be happy to sit on the committee. Go Browns!

Your friend, Jen


Quit Your Twitter Bitching

It seems that every news piece lately has the following… “The comments sparked outrage on Twitter” or “The Twitterverse was in an uproar”. Are you kidding me? Why is it that every time someone makes a comment we don’t agree with, the answer is to launch a Twitter attack against said person or organization, whether or not their statement has any merit? Ultimately that person removes the ‘offensive’ tweet and issues some sort of half-assed apology just to shut everyone up. It’s asinine, really.

photo (19)
My first example is a tweet by ‘Supernatural’ star, Jared Padelecki regarding the death of Philip Seymour Hoffman. He called the famous actor’s demise due to a heroin overdose ‘senseless’ and ‘stupid’. OK… where’s the problem here? Was sticking a needle in his arm smart and sensible in your world? Did I miss some sort of PSA in the 90s that claimed heroin was awesome for your health? Does it have Vitamin C and I’ve been missing out all these years? The point is that PSH made a conscious decision somewhere along the line to do something that he knew was horrible and potentially life threatening. I’m 100% confident that I will not die of a heroin overdose. Do you know why? Probably because I would never make the decision to partake in heroin the first time. It’s really that simple.

Before you go throwing your addiction arguments at me… I get it. I fully comprehend the evils of addiction. Once again, that’s not going to be a issue for me because I would NEVER DO HEROIN. Problem solved. I’m fairly confident that if I tried it, I would become an addict… most do. There’s one less thing I have to worry about killing me. Have you ever seen it glamorized? It doesn’t look like a good time to me at all. It’s not like you’re the life of the party after you shoot up. You basically pass out in an Lazy Boy recliner and hope you don’t cease breathing entirely. Sign me up! That sounds like a blast. People are so quick to defend PSH because he was relevant. Look, I really liked him in ‘Capote’ too, but this death was in fact stupid and senseless. If anything, Padelecki should be applauded for having the balls to say what he believes. With that being said, anytime someone dies it’s sad and I’m probably going to watch as many PSH movies as Netflix will allow in the immediate future as a tribute. If it was your friend, brother or daughter who OD’d, do you think there would have been arrests immediately following the death? Or would the police just chalk it up to another junkie pushing the limits? His celebrity does not make this acceptable. I lost a very close friend to a heroin overdose a little over a year ago. How very stupid and senseless. That statement doesn’t mean that I loved that guy any less.

photo (20)

Some of you may have also seen the terribly offensive tweet (to some) by Purell on Super Bowl Sunday. They compared the performance of the Denver Broncos to the Cleveland Browns! Oh, the horror! Someone called our shitty football team shitty? We need to stand up for ourselves, damn it! Ok… umm, what do we say? This is what they mean by bringing a knife to a gun fight. We’ve got nothing, my friends. When you haven’t won a championship in 50 years and the Team Shop sells generic jerseys so you can write in the starting QB’s name in sharpie from week to week (ok, I made that part up), you really don’t have a leg to stand on. Their assessment is fairly accurate, so I for one am a bit perplexed by the reaction of some of our Cleveland fan base. It’s great to have team pride, but roll with the punches when someone calls a spade a spade. Purell did the pussy thing and removed the tweet. God forbid someone’s feelings were hurt. Uh-oh… Twitter got mad again!

Social media (especially Twitter) has made us all a bit more likely to have these types of reactions. You can hide behind your Twitter handle and say reprehensible things to people, simply because you don’t agree with them. Sweet! Maybe if a shit ton of you get together and harass people, you can bully them into retracting their original comment based solely on the fact that it’s not what you want to hear. Maybe you can make a famous person change their ways! Like it or not, interracial families will still eat Cheerios together and people who don’t speak English will continue to live in America while guzzling 2 liters of Coke, whether or not your Twitter bitching continues. So… carry on. I’m sure there’s a Kardashian doing something you hate at this very moment. Better get on that.


A Quarterback for Christmas

20131117-094055.jpgDear Santa,

You like football, right? I mean… Doesn’t everyone? I have a feeling you probably dabbled back in the day. Am I right? You have punt returner written all over you, my good man. Go special teams! Well, the reason for this letter is relatively simple. I wanted to get my Christmas gift request in fairly early this year so you’d have ample time to make good on it. You see, I would like a new Quarterback for the Cleveland Browns organization. Before you get ahead of yourself and remind me how selfish it is to want yet another QB seeing as we’ve already burned through a few this season and an unfathomable 20 since the team returned in 1999, let me clarify. I would like a GOOD QB. A franchise QB like Brady, Brees or Manning (not the shitty Manning… The good one). I want one who plays every Sunday and throws passes for receptions (and ideally TDs) … Repeatedly. Sounds reasonable, right?

Consider this on the same tier as one of those requests from darling children asking for world peace for Christmas instead of presents. Santa, this really is a gift for the entire city of Cleveland. Damn, I’m such a humanitarian. I’m not really sure where you should start your search, and evidently neither is the Browns front office. Let’s just keep them out of this altogether, shall we? Since I’m all but certain your workshop is incapable of handling such a huge undertaking, I’ll try to help. I’d start by hunting down women that Bernie Kosar slept with in the late 80s- early 90s. There’s bound to be some illigitimate sons out there somewhere. What a heart warming story that would be! They’d probably even make a Lifetime movie out of it starring Valerie Bertinelli as the misunderstood groupie working at Hooters. Seriously, I just teared up a bit.

Also, I’m not entirely opposed to having a robot QB, although I’m not really sure what league regulations are on that. Mr. Goodell won’t even let me bring my purse to a game, so I’m sure there’s some sort of robot ordinance as well. Another option would be to bring back performance enhancing drugs so that when we actually have a promising prospect, he doesn’t fold like a paper doll after two starts. C’mon Santa… Don’t tell me you don’t miss steroids! My request might sound unreasonable, but I have faith in you even though I asked for the Michael Jackson Thriller doll when I was 10 and didn’t get it until four years later when my grandma found it at a garage sale. Bush league, Santa. Bygones, though. You’re working with a clean slate here. If anyone can make this happen, I believe it’s you. 20131117-094946.jpg

In closing, Santa… I’m not going to pretend I’ve been good this year. We all know that’s just not true, but this is actually HUGE for you too. Just think how much easier life would be for you if little Timmy Johnson asked for a jersey with his Browns QB’s name on the back and it actually lasted an entire season! Or MORE! What?? That would be awesome! It saves you and the elves the man power and Timbo’s mom a trip down to the Goodwill when the wheels fall off the QB’s ill fated bus. Everybody wins, big guy.

Maybe next year? Well, I think that’s up to you, Santa.

P.S. Whatever you do, avoid Jeff Garcia’s house when you’re establishing your flight plan.


Twins Drinking Game

NelsonI love drinking games. I can turn pretty much anything into one. In fact, I’m playing one right now while writing this. Recently, I’ve had the opportunity to spend a little time with friends of mine who happen to be twins. In fact, they’re dangerously close to surpassing Matthew and Gunnar Nelson as my all time favorite adult male twins. I’m certain I’m guilty of it as well… But people tend to say and do some strange things around people who share the same faces. It seems that even complete strangers have no problem approaching and asking asinine questions. Some of them act like they’ve just seen a unicorn. Do you see where I’m going with this? Holla! Yes! The twins drinking game! You don’t have to be a twin to play along. Shit, I don’t care if you play it during Full House reruns as you attempt to determine whether Mary Kate or Ashley is playing Michelle Tanner at any given moment. I’ll outline a few simple rules, but feel free to add your own.

If someone approaches with the question, “Are you twins?” regardless of how obvious it may be; Everybody takes one drink. Incidentally, the answer to this question should always be ‘no’, even if the twins in question are fused together at the collar bone.

Someone says “Double Trouble”, probably while winking and/or doing the fake gun motion with their right hand; Everyone takes two drinks.

Someone says “Package deal”; Everyone takes one drink (after they stop giggling because someone said “package”).

If someone launches into a ridiculously irrelevant story about how many times they’ve seen ‘Parent Trap’; Everybody takes one drink. If the perpetrator makes it clear that it was the Lindsay Lohan version, immediately take that person’s drink. They don’t deserve to have any fun. EVER.

If someone asks one twin, “Are you the good one”? (Side note… It will inevitably be a middle aged balding guy laughing uncontrollably at his own joke, like it’s the funniest thing he’s ever said. And, it probably is.) Punch him in the throat, removing all doubt that the aforementioned twin is the good one. Everyone finishes the drink in their hand. drinking games

Every time someone calls one twin the wrong name; Shots for everyone! This will likely happen a lot, so you’re welcome. If things start to get too crazy, you might want to place a secret mark on one of them with a sharpie or lip liner so you quit making the same mistake repeatedly. I mean, remembering which shirt someone’s wearing can be tricky. (I’m assuming adult twins would be dressed differently. However, if you’re at a children’s birthday party for adorable matchy twins, ignore my sarcastic comments and drink up).

This next one will take some advance planning amongst your twins… If someone asks, “Do you do everything together?” or “Can you read each other’s minds?” ; Everyone takes one drink, except for one twin who deliberately does not, just to prove a point. That point is that you’re basically an asshole for asking. If said twins really can read each other’s minds, feel free to skip the advance planning part. They’ll ‘just know’.

If someone pinches one twin and asks whether or not the other one feels it; the entire party should immediately start putting all their drinks on that guy’s tab for the rest of the night. He’s a tool.

I look forward to someday teaching my toddler twin nieces this game. As for the rest of you, I’m sure you can rustle up some twins to play along with you. Doesn’t your former neighbor’s dentist’s cousin have a set? I’m sure you feel compelled to mention that every time you see twins.


Hey, Cleveland… It’s Tribe Time Now. Fo’ Realz

Goon squad
Oh, Cleveland… Where do I begin? As a collective whole, we are constantly complaining about our tragic history with sports teams. Why us? What did we do to deserve this? I, for one, am completely disappointed in us. Yes, I will include myself in that group. I was at the Tribe game on Tuesday night (with free tickets someone in a disheartened state gave away to a friend outside a Nordstrom Rack). What I witnessed made me embarrassed to call myself a dedicated Cleveland sports fan, for I certainly haven’t earned that title as of late. The entire upper deck was completely empty. There was one random dude in charge of the Circle K strike count up there by himself. The merchandise stands on the main concourse were completely empty, and there wasn’t even a wait for a beer going into the 7th inning. Since there wasn’t a wait, I had the opportunity to have a enlightening conversation with a beer vendor named Deborah who has been with the team since 1994. Deborah has been through some ups and downs in this relationship with her Cleveland Indians, but one thing sets her apart from the rest of us. She still has the same level of dedication. She understands, that this is her team… regardless. Through good times and bad, she has been a Cleveland Indians fan, through and through. You see, I worked for this team from 1997-2000 as well. I know what it feels like to have that electric energy surrounding a team. Deborah wants to know why we aren’t rallying around these guys, when all we do is bitch and whine that we don’t have any championship contending teams to root for. Amen, Deborah! You are 100% correct. So, what do we do at this point to show the Tribe that they are OUR TEAM? Tribe Time

If you’ve watched these guys play, you can see what an incredibly cohesive unit they are. Everyone has their function, and any one of them would be happy to let someone else be the hero on any given night at the ballpark. We need to learn from them. This is our team, which means that we accept ALL of them. You absolutely can NOT boo one of your own players when they’re not performing up to your expectations. How does that psychology even make sense? You’re not happy… we get it. However, all this does is aggravate the situation and make it worse. Is Chris Perez going to all of a sudden start throwing strikes when his own ‘fans’ are hurling insults at him while he’s trying to do his job? Some of you have a problem with him due to his legal troubles, and I’m certain that your morally superior lifestyle allows you to judge. Is it smart to have drugs delivered to your dog through the mail? Probably not. Why do you care? Not one of you bothered to recommend a local drug dealer, now did you? All joking aside, when these guys get back to town (because they WILL have more home games) show this guy some love. In the past, he’s called out the fan base for their lack of support. Was he wrong? Everyone has that one relative… the crazy uncle who does things you don’t necessarily agree with. Do you kick him out of the family? My guess is that he still shows up for Thanksgiving, and you treat him like he’s own of your own. Let’s show these guys that we support each and every one of them, especially Crazy Uncle Chris.


We continue to get punched in the face by the Browns organization, and yet the seats are still full and thousands of the faithful show up each home game to tailgate. Why is this? I understand that there are only eight home games per year, which makes it easier to commit. Don’t tell me that this is a ‘football town’. I would argue that it’s a sports town. Period. The energy and adoration surrounding the Indians of the late 90s was something pretty special. That organization is a class act and I consider myself fortunate to have been a part of it. It’s almost as if we’re in an abusive relationship with the Browns. We accept this treatment and have become complacent to the fact that we have zero chance of winning. If we were to support a team with a legitimate chance of winning, aren’t we setting ourselves up for a more significant level of heartbreak? Absolutely. Is our self esteem that battered, Cleveland? We’re comparable to a teenaged girl who sticks by her douchebag boyfriend because she doesn’t feel that she deserves any better. I’m not asking you to abandon the Browns. They’re our team, as well. What I’m asking is that you shift your focus. Give these guys the attention they deserve. Let’s help propel them into October by showing them that this city supports them. Go out and buy some new Tribe gear. Stop by your nearest Cleveland Indians Team Shop or my new favorite local retailer, GV Artwork in Lakewood and get yourself a ‘Goon Squad’ tee. Wear your pride on your sleeve, Cleveland. Represent at work. Send the kiddos to school proudly sporting their favorite Indians sweatshirt. Hell, put ‘It’s Tribe Time Now’ signs in your windows. I don’t care how you show your support… Just do it! The bandwagon is parked out front, and everyone needs to get on board.

P.S. They don’t make you carry Ziploc bags for purses at Progressive Field and where else can you witness a foot race between the condiments ketchup, mustard, and onion? I’ll see you at the Ballpark. GO TRIBE!

Giambi HR


T3 Y’all

image (5)

Ok… I’m sure everyone is waiting breathlessly to hear how Team Tampon Tailgate (T3) panned out. Was anyone arrested? Were any bras set ablaze as a tribute to women’s equality movements before us? Was it an absolutely kick ass time? Hopefully, I’ll be able to answer those questions for you today as well as address the unfortunate inability to comprehend sarcasm that apparently has befallen on some of our comrades.

image (1)

If I’m being completely honest, the tailgate wasn’t all that different from any other debaucherous Brown’s home opener. People drank excessively, hurled insults at opposing jersey wearing fans, and peed in pop tents housing toilets. That last one still upsets me a bit, but there are just some times where a tee-pee is in order. It’s really quite impossible to be the biggest asshole at a Browns tailgate party. You don’t want to get yourself caught up in that game of one-upmanship. With that being said, the group who hosted T3 were a pretty solid pack of people. We had a great set up, complete with tents in the event of rain and an elevated DJ booth. As the morning progressed, people were fighting over photo opportunities with our amazing picket signs. I can’t lie… signs duct taped to sticks can be quite cumbersome. I didn’t look as adorable as I thought I would, especially factoring in the gale force winds blowing off the lake. Holding one of those up with any sort of conviction was nearly impossible. To be fair, I might have trouble throwing a touchdown pass under those conditions as well.

image (9)
The news crews showed up relatively early, which was fortunate. It’s much more difficult to pretend you’re super pissed about something when you’ve been drinking vodka and Gatorade for hours. (It’s critically important to stay hydrated). DJ Dela Vega kept us entertained throughout the morning with the tunes. He played my anthem ‘Blurred Lines’ at least twice, which makes women (myself included) dance like idiots. You automatically lose any sense of rhythm and dance like a roofied college student the minute that song comes on. He also gave me the opportunity to get on the Mic and let my voice be heard. Naturally, I did that by electing to rap ‘Fergalicious’ to the entire Muni Lot. Oh shit… Why am I mad again? I’m sure I’m supposed to be sending some sort of message to the masses. Wait… where did I put my purse? AHA! It was all coming back to me! The contents of my purse were in a Ziploc bag adorned with stickers, duct tape and a picture of Coach Chudzinski’s cherubic little face. Where the hell did I put my Coach purse? After a brief disconnect, I was back to full on protest mode. Ok… who am I kidding?

image (4)
I think the best part of the whole T3 experience for me was the media reports. Better yet… have you ever scrolled through the comment thread on a news channel’s Facebook page? Holy hell, if you haven’t, you are missing out on some primo entertainment! People were seriously angry with me. They never bothered to read the original blog entry http://thebroadsside.com/2013/06/26/491/ so they thought that this ‘protest’ was my life’s work.

Among my favorites?

Michelle from Parma: She was so upset with me! She must have made 30 different comments about how much of an idiot she thinks I am; ironically spelling most of the words incorrectly and completely avoiding the use of punctuation and capitalization altogether. She insisted that nobody but my family and friends were paying any attention to what I had to say. We all know a Michelle from Parma. She’s the reason you’re not allowed to joke around or have any fun in the office. MFP will be right there raining on your fun parade, inevitably accusing someone of sexual harassment. We all know that NOBODY (including her husband) wants to have sex with her. Her complete lack of sense of humor and inability to comprehend any sort of sarcasm or wit make MFP a real delight to be around. She said some pretty insightful things such as; ‘get off your high horse’ and ‘just stay your butt at home’. She’s soooo bossy! However, I’m sure when her double fudge brownie recipe goes viral and everyone wants to talk to her, she’ll be singing a different tune.
Random gun holding profile pic dude: “Get a life!” Oh… OK. Well, where do you suggest I order this ‘life’ that you speak of? I certainly want to make sure I get mine from the same place you procured yours. Internet, perhaps? I hope he doesn’t shoot me while shirtless, as his profile picture seems to suggest he’s inclined to do.

image (7)
There were a bunch of hilarious other ‘insults’ hurled at me by people who just don’t get it. I have to say, that in itself has made this experience more rewarding by tenfold. I can’t imagine a reasonable human being seeing something dubbed ‘Team Tampon Tailgate’ and thinking that it was a legitimate cause. This has honestly been one of the coolest experiences of my life and I’m fortunate that I have friends who will sign up for my asinine social experiments. Hmm… what’s next?
Special thanks to Christian Dela Vega, Carrie Young, Melanie Paskert, Jen Dover and Sharon Caramell for being the heart and soul of all things ridiculous!


Team Tampon Tailgate (T3)

Sandwich bag purseShockingly, I still haven’t heard from the Commissioner of the NFL, Roger Goodell regarding the ridiculous purse ban policy put into play NFL wide for the 2013 season. It doesn’t seem like he’s listening to my concerns and I’m all but certain that he doesn’t care about my feelings. It’s almost as if we’re dating! Don’t get me wrong… I understand how and why this happened and the reluctance to back down once the decision was made. I’m sure it sounded good at the time. Let’s call it the way it is, shall we? This was obviously a knee jerk reaction to the Boston Marathon bombings. I can visualize a bunch of guys sitting around a conference table brainstorming this whole thing. How do we make the people feel safer? Tighter security measures? Maybe bomb sniffing dogs? I know! Ziploc bags will fix EVERYTHING! Yes. Yes, that’ll surely make everyone feel invincible. The terrorists are certain to be hugely intimidated by the freezer bag police. I’m sure there’s a sleeper cell back at the drawing board scratching their heads, exclaiming “foiled again!” It’s like a god damned Scooby Doo episode starring Roger as Shaggy. “They would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for those meddling kids!”

I bought some Ziploc bags today (yes… They’re Ziploc, not some cheap knock-off freezer bags). If you can’t have a Coach purse, why not try Ziploc? I’ll have to admit that the color changing zipper feature is kind of nice. It lets you know that your makeshift purse is, in fact secure. Not one of my regular non-see through, privacy protecting purses has that characteristic. I refuse to be held down in the face of adversity, so I naturally bought some Browns duct tape, some jewels, stickers, and other non-glitter related adornments for my new lunch sack purse. Glitter is contraband at Browns (First Energy) stadium as well, so I didn’t want to walk that line. To be fair, I once had some glitter wedged into my cornea after handling one of my daughter’s glittery tees and it hurt… a lot! We definitely don’t want Jihadists catching wind of that and hurling fistfuls of glitter into unsuspecting sports fan’s delicate irises. That would be tragic. I’ve attached a picture of my gameday leftovers pouch so you can be jealous of how amazing I will be on September 8th when my Brownies take to the field for the home opener. It’ll likely be the best I feel all season.

Ziploc fashionSince, I’m all but positive that I’ve been placed on the NFL’s terror watch list, I might as well fully commit to the cause. I will be hosting a little soiree I like to call “Team Tampon Tailgate Protest” or T3 (because I’m cool like that) at Cleveland’s famed and often feared Muni Lot before the home opener. This will be a delightful little expression of disagreement with this asinine policy. Leave your Molotov cocktails and tear gas at home. This is very likely the reason the NFL doesn’t want us to carry purses. They think those things could potentially be in there, stuffed between the tampons and pressed powder compacts. I would encourage any of the other 31 NFL teams to participate in a similar show of solidarity, even though as a Clevelander I’m required to hate anyone who regularly out-performs my team and disappoints their fans less. That’s pretty much everyone. But let’s face it… NOBODY wants to carry their wallet and keys in a sandwich bag or their uterus which appears to be slightly less embarrassing alternative. Grab some sandwich bags from your kids’ back to school stash, fire up the mini-van and throw back some cold ones. Let’s come together on September 8th to voice your displeasure. I’ll likely forget why I’m mad after a few beers, but the camaraderie will be great.

I’m still learning this Twitter thing, because I’m obviously a verbose gal. If you happen to be on ‘The Twitter’ as I call it, Kindly hashtag #Teamtampontailgate, T3 or ziplocfashion I would also encourage including my BFF Shaggy Goodell @NFLcommish on any communication. I will send out an official press release at some point this week for media outlets that are interested in T3 or simply like having a great time. Email contact is: broadsside@gmail.com.

About the Broad

A humorous look at dating in your mid-thirties and the other hilarious things that happen around us on a daily basis.

April 2014
« Feb    

What you missed

Follow me on Twitter

  • Anyone else think these 'three separate but fleeting sounds from deep in the Indian Ocean' is a bunch of crap? I... fb.me/6zOHh7RT8 2 weeks ago
  • I have a friend who works for CFD and I'll regularly ask how his shift was... Then this conversation happened:... fb.me/2ZLkqLdmM 3 weeks ago
  • I was convinced to go to a nightclub last night, which isn't my thing at all. While I was standing there looking... fb.me/1gWjmiQEA 3 weeks ago
  • The kid has a new super annoying thing she does. After every sentence, she adds "fart fart" to the end. Every.... fb.me/14tF2yLpw 3 weeks ago
  • Just now realized that I put my underwear on wrong. How does that happen? The little thong panel is on my left... fb.me/6oxOZhk1G 4 weeks ago



Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 755 other followers

%d bloggers like this: