22
Jun
13

Worst Pool Party Ever

Pool Party 2Dear Mayfair Apartments Management,

Today is Saturday June 22nd, which I feel the need to point out since it’s quite possible that the ownership group is unaware of that. Weather.com has the current temperature reading at a balmy 88 degrees! Wowsers… That’s pretty damn warm, wouldn’t you say? Do you know what would be great? If I could take a refreshing dip in that ‘sparkling pool’ you advertise as a primo amenity on literally every apartment rental website known to man.

Pool Party 5However, there is one slight issue. There isn’t any water in the pool. On June 22! Currently, there is a giant crater in the back yard with about two inches of last year’s stagnant piss water in the ‘deep end’ near the drain. It was kind for someone to set up all the lounge chairs and align them perfectly around the pool deck. When I saw this, I was struck with a fantastic idea! Pool party! Holla! I decided that I was going to stop complaining, make the most of it and get my sweaty, borderline heat stroke having ass off the couch.Pool Party 3

I’ve included some pictures of my attempt at a pool party. I’m sure you’ll concur… It sucked fairly bad. Water appears to be a critical element in the enjoyment of aquatic style parties. I can tell you that the ‘no diving’ signs quite possibly saved my life, though. Always looking for that silver lining! Yep… Miss ‘glass is half full’ right here.Pool Party 1

So, in summation, lets recap what we’ve learned here today. It’s freaking June 22nd. The mercury is threatening to hit 90 degrees, and most importantly there’s no god-damned water in the pool so it’s certainly not ‘sparkling’ as you claim. Fix it.

P.S. I’m mad.

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9 Responses to “Worst Pool Party Ever”


  1. 1 Kendra
    June 24, 2013 at 1:43 pm

    love the article!!!……
    I say free rent every day the pool hasn’t and continues to not be open!!

  2. June 24, 2013 at 1:43 pm

    I have a pool pass at my apartment complex for you to use . Its out in Brunswick though.

  3. June 24, 2013 at 2:21 pm

    You are fabulous! Hope your rant gets some action and a “sparkling” filled pool to cool off in. :-)

  4. 4 Teri
    June 24, 2013 at 3:05 pm

    love the innertube!

    • 5 Doug
      June 25, 2013 at 7:12 pm

      Jen we just met on Sunday, and I really like your style. Keep hammering I wouldn’t think the management company would want this to go to much further.

  5. 6 dave
    August 1, 2013 at 10:34 am

    very funny… and. yes, like you said in other posts, you do have awesome boobs !!!

  6. August 5, 2013 at 1:18 pm

    Good replies in return of this difficulty with
    firm arguments and explaining everything about that.


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About the Broad

A humorous look at dating in your mid-thirties and the other hilarious things that happen around us on a daily basis.

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