Sex on the first date

Society conditions us to believe that there’s some sort of mandatory waiting period before you’re supposed to have sex with a new interest…. Like you’re trying to purchase a handgun. I listen to some of my girlfriends dissecting how many dates should happen before it’s appropriate to have sex. I don’t know about you, but ‘appropriate’ sex doesn’t really sound all that fun to me. I prefer hot, dirty, inappropriate sex any day of the week. We turn it into a ridiculous game that’s way more difficult to play than it needs to be. With that being said, I don’t want to give the wrong impression. I’m actually very particular about who I would even consider getting naked with. This is by no means an attempt to drum up new business.

I can vividly recall how frustrating the whole process was to me while I was in my twenties. I followed the rules about not putting out right away and it got me nowhere. I wish I could reclaim all of that time I wasted sitting through dinners discussing super mundane things like favorite movies, how much your job sucks, or whether you like your pasta el dente or not. How refreshing would it be for a woman to say something to the effect, “Let’s just cut through the bullshit, grab a bottle of tequila and go fuck”? Realistically, if I’m actively having sex with you in my head as appetizers are served I’m probably not going to retain the fact that ‘the Princess Bride’ is your favorite movie. It’s so uncomfortable to endure these first few dates anyways. Why? Because it’s forced and un-natural. Come to think of it, I probably wrecked a few relationships by trying to keep myself on this retarded sexual schedule. Women are so paranoid and afraid of what will happen if they just go for it. “What if he doesn’t call?” Who the hell cares? You might want to invest in a book on blowjobs if that’s the case though. There’s a chance you’re not doing it right.

Now that I’m 37 and fully embracing the Cougar Movement, I’m more comfortable with my sexuality than I’ve ever been. I also feel like I’ve earned the right to have sex with whoever I want, with no rules, restrictions or unnecessary bullshit. If you’re fortunate enough to be in a position where you meet someone and that insanely powerful sexual chemistry is there… what’s stopping you? Respect? That’s a load of crap. You can’t be disrespected unless you allow yourself to be. Save your lectures for your daughter’s prom night. If you’re a confident, independent broad who knows what she wants… good for you! A lot of things need to fall in place for me before this can happen. Beyond the physical chemistry, there needs to be a superior level of intelligence and witty humor involved. If I can connect with someone like that, I’m not sure why I wouldn’t take advantage of it. We both know where it’s headed anyways. It sure eliminates a lot of unnecessary stress and pressure.

I also fully resent the implication that it’s always the guy getting the woman into bed. Did you ever think that it’s the other way around? What if I seduced him and decided whether to talk to him afterwards? It’s not as if I wore that shirt that showcased my cans accidentally. Men can be so easily mesmerized by a little cleavage. The bottom line is that women like sex too and shouldn’t be so reluctant to admit it. Nothing is better than sex with someone who’s confident, willing to discuss and experiment with different things. It’s also completely acceptable to have a relationship based solely on sex. Removing all of the expectations and social pressures that go along with the whole dating thing can be very liberating. In my mind, this is much more realistic and healthy than walking into something with all kinds of inflated expectations about the future. I plan to continue to take full advantage of this while I’m still hot enough to pull it off. Men, no need to send me Thank-you cards for these words of wisdom.


4 Responses to “Sex on the first date”

  1. 1 Sweet Trouble
    March 2, 2010 at 10:16 pm

    Just before I got to the part about ambracing the cougar movement, I was thinking about how we feel this way because of our age and confidence level with ourselves. I mean, I don’t feel EXACTLY the same as you, because for me, not only do I need to feel the chemistry and intellectual/ humor sparks, but I personally like to feel like there COULD be something down the road… at least maybe. Again though, could be my age. I want to get married again to the right guy, and I’m not getting any younger, so for me the “just sex” thing seems like a bit of a waste of time, so to speak. But I do fully agree that if you’re attracted to him, he’s a good guy and it’s all understood up front – go for it girls.

  2. 3 Ralph
    March 15, 2010 at 6:10 pm

    Speaking as a man who has four ex-wives, as well as a current wife, several past live-ins, as well as long term relationships. Yes I’m old! But I can tell you that the relationships that lasted the longest started with sex on a first date. I’ve found that women who wanted to wait usually weren’t worth the wait sexually. And while I don’t expect sex on the first date, there is something to be said about the excitement of a women who is direct and strong enough to go for it. And I have never found the average 1st dater to be easy, or sleazy. You can usually tell that about a woman without having sex, and then to each their own from there.

  3. June 24, 2014 at 7:06 am

    Hello, I check your blogs regularly. Your story-telling style is witty, keep up the good work!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

About the Broad

A humorous look at dating in your mid-thirties and the other hilarious things that happen around us on a daily basis.

March 2010
« Feb   Apr »

What you missed

Follow me on Twitter


%d bloggers like this: