25
Aug
11

Ignore Mode

Did you get my message?

There’s not much that annoys me more than when someone ignores me. Part of it is clearly because I’m an attention whore, but I also think it’s one of the rudest things you can do to someone. My passionate feelings on this matter led me into some discussions with girlfriends. Guess what? It turns out that ALL women absolutely hate this phenomenon! Before you doubt me, keep in mind that I asked at least six women in this highly scientific study I conducted largely over text message. Oh… and my friends are kind of bitchy. Let the record state that every one of them responded to the aforementioned text survey promptly. Several of them flew into a blind rage at the mere mention of the issue at hand.

At the risk of sounding snobby, I can’t begin to imagine why someone wouldn’t respond to me. First off, I’m hilarious behind the wheel of my blackberry. My texts are well crafted and highly entertaining. If you think otherwise, you can suck it. You can understand my bewilderment that I dated a guy recently who wouldn’t respond (sometimes for days) after I sent a message. His name is Carl, but his parents spelled it with a K for some reason. No, he’s not a Kardashian. I asked.

When my texts hung out in space with no acknowledgement, I had absolutely no idea it was because he didn’t want to talk to me! My first instinct was to blame Verizon. It was fairly obvious to me that his phone had broken and/or the network was down. After a follow up text, it started to cross my mind that this was an intentional lack of response, so I went into MF mode at the flip of a switch. After I called a girlfriend and unjustifiably referred to his penis as a thumb and criticized his skills in the sack, I started to feel a little guilty. What if something horrible happened and I’m calling him an A-hole and mocking his manhood as he desperately clings to life? Oh my God… what if he’s on his death bed and all he really wants is one last conversation with me, but he doesn’t remember my name or phone number? Hey, it’s not a far jump from the cell phone signal being lost to the vision of a disfiguring car accident resulting in traumatic brain injury with a healthy dose of amnesia.

Just as I began picking out my funeral attire so I could cement my position as the sexy girlfriend at his inevitable calling hours, I finally received a response from him. The message? “Hey. What’s up?” Well, if that didn’t just send me into a fit of fury. That’s all you’ve got? What’s up? You’ve got to be kidding me! Why aren’t you dead? I’m willing to recognize the fact that it’s slightly appalling to harbor resentment because someone did not, in fact, meet his untimely demise. With that being said, it’s preferable to the knowledge that he’s just a horrible person. He had his chance to kick the bucket in a positive light, without the unfortunate reputation of an ignorer. Now I have to acknowledge, yet again, my disastrous taste in men.

The message here is simple; if you’re a man, you need to realize that ignoring a woman is a terrible decision. We will run the gamut of emotions and try to get inside your head. We don’t have the capacity to shut that down. We don’t think it’s possible that you’re busy or that your brains are smaller so you forget things. We think you hate us if you don’t respond. Or you have met a tragic fate. Please quit it! I, for one, would rather be called every name in the book or be punched in the ovaries than be ignored.

For the women; don’t tolerate ignore mode. If someone doesn’t give you the attention you deserve or laugh at your text message masterpieces, he’s an unworthy turd of a man. Don’t let some jackass string you along like that. There’s plenty of guys out there who are really good at basic communication, and spell their names right.

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3 Responses to “Ignore Mode”


  1. 1 Cubiche Love
    February 10, 2012 at 6:43 pm

    The issue you have is that a relationship is not based on text. Let’s say after 10 months of dating someone texting is done, accept only calls or face to face contact. Until you don’t realize what I am talking about you will never be able to succeed in a relationship None of them will work. Trust me..

    • 2 kp
      February 28, 2013 at 10:45 pm

      Cubiche Love 11 months ago

      TO All Women:

      I am guy I recently had a break up with my chic of which I love deeply. Despite said, I will not contact or ever talk to her again.

      Let me explain; a month after we both when our ways “she spent too much time chatting in FB with other men” I texted her and she replied to me. “I am seeing someone” for now I want to be your friend. This hurt me so much, after a year of dating and I found out that my chic is already dating I questioned if she ever loved me but the fact she is dating is irrevocable at this point. Please do yourself a favor and don’t enter into a rebound relantioship after you break with your ex. Real men will never ever take you back, only the weak do and even though I love her it is my time to move on. I hurts my feelings but I will not answer her text or calls never again.

      My only advice to you women. If you want your man back keep your Dignity and Respect in his absence. A rebound relationship is a recipe for failure and will guarantee you will never see your man again.

      I wish you all much luck.

      Mr “cubiche”love??? give me a break

      FUNNY THAT ALL YOU COMMENTS END UP IN YOUR GIRLFRIENDS/WIFE CHEATING ON YOU….
      CONCLUSION: YOU ARE A TARRU AND YOU ALWAYS WILL BE !!!!! INSTEAD OF GIVING ADVISES TO OTHERS THAT MAKE NO SENSE BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY YOU CAN’T HANDLE YOUR OWN RELATIONSHIPS, WHY YOU DON’T FIND SOMETHING MORE USEFUL TO DO LIKE GETTING A REAL JOB LAZY ASS!!!!

  2. 3 kp
    February 28, 2013 at 10:51 pm

    Cubiche Love 11 months ago

    TO All Women:

    I am guy I recently had a break up with my chic of which I love deeply. Despite said, I will not contact or ever talk to her again.

    Let me explain; a month after we both when our ways “she spent too much time chatting in FB with other men” I texted her and she replied to me. “I am seeing someone” for now I want to be your friend. This hurt me so much, after a year of dating and I found out that my chic is already dating I questioned if she ever loved me but the fact she is dating is irrevocable at this point. Please do yourself a favor and don’t enter into a rebound relantioship after you break with your ex. Real men will never ever take you back, only the weak do and even though I love her it is my time to move on. I hurts my feelings but I will not answer her text or calls never again.

    My only advice to you women. If you want your man back keep your Dignity and Respect in his absence. A rebound relationship is a recipe for failure and will guarantee you will never see your man again.

    I wish you all much luck.

    FUNNY THAT ALL YOU COMMENTS END UP IN YOUR GIRLFRIEND CHEATING ON YOU….
    CONCLUTION: YOU ARE A TARRU AND YOU ALWAYS WILL BE ONE!!!!!


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About the Broad

A humorous look at dating in your mid-thirties and the other hilarious things that happen around us on a daily basis.

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